Since I started Wildflower Transformation Coaching 7 years ago, I have grown and changed a lot. I initially started out helping people to heal from stress and burn not, but as time progressed, I started to realise that the people who were coming to me were actually also healers and cycle breakers themselves. All of them needed someone to hold space for them to heal deeper trauma, on a mental, emotional, spiritual and physical level, which has honestly been the most profound honor to hold space for others to heal within themselves.
It has taken me a while to accept this calling; however, it has become so clear that from this business, the non-profit company She is a Wildflower NPC that I co-founded and the Blue Bottle Apothecary, the golden thread going through all of these has always been healing for healers. These beautiful humans that have the biggest, most sensitive hearts, and are here to break cycles for themselves, their lineage and for the people that they work with, wherever they find themselves. They are here to create a ripple effect of change.
Uncovering the Layers of Grief
So, moving forward the content of my blogs content is going to be speaking directly to the experiences, initiations and rites of passages we go through as healers. To kick that off, we are going to discuss grief, which is a very present emotion that we are all feeling our way through at this point of our story as humanity.
As healers, we usually feel really deeply and can pick up on the currents of present emotions around us. Grief is one of the most heart opening, humbling and difficult emotions that is not just felt when we lose someone. There are layers of grief that we experience and we need to start recognizing this as grief, so we can acknowledge it and receive the deep medicine from it.
Here are some layers of grief you may have or be experiencing:
- The grief of the collective
Whether you are aware of it, are putting your head in the sand or “trying to keep your vibe high”- we are all affected by the trauma and grief of the collective of both our human and non-human kin. Right now, we are in a stage of grief as we see the shadows and horrors of the world being brought to the surface. The grief that is brought up when you start to comprehend the depth of the anti-life forces and darkness that has been controlling people and our world, it needs to be acknowledged, it needs to be felt, it needs to be honoured. The more we give our presence, and allow this grief to open our hearts, the more we remember that love always wins.
- The grief of our lineages
If you are a healer, you would have chosen to incarnate in a particular bloodline based on the gifts that are present, and the healing that needs to be done for the expansion of your spirit. There would have been countless healers in your lineage, many of whom went through deep grief from not being able to step into their calling. Our ancestors also went through countless tragedies, pain and trauma over the past centuries, let alone further back. Being able to alchemise this pain and also reclaim the love and joy is what starts to liberate the lineage. It is a spiral, a ripple effect which brings healing to the past, the present, the future, this is where we resurrect eternal life.
- The grief of being harmed by mentors
This is something that has to be openly discussed in healing and teaching spaces as often they can be anything but healing. I have experienced this personally, heard it from colleagues and seen it with clients where they have been harmed by their mentors, teachers or healers they have worked with. Many people in these spaces have either consciously or unconsciously been working with forces they don’t understand or aren’t initiated to work with, taking on clients they are not qualified or ready to assist, re-traumatising and harming people in the process. It has also become exclusive, othering and can exclude people who don’t fit into a narrow box that has been created.
- The grief of our soul clients
Learning to hold space for someone’s grief is an art form, their grief can’t be taken away and sometimes due to this we unconsciously try to take it on as our own. How you handle this will also depend on your own relationship with grief, and whether you are able to allow it without trying to push it away. As healing facilitators, we also have the grief of not being able to necessarily get the outcomes our egos sometimes want for our clients. We have no control of the stage of the journey we meet each other, and it takes a lot of trust to allow everything to unfold as is needed. This is why the business coaching of pushing finite “results” can be detrimental to healers as our way of guiding someone is different to coaching or therapy.
- The grief of being different
As children, we are usually more connected to the elemental and spirit realms and with age this connection is often weakened or severed through conditioning. Many healers experienced various spiritual encounters when younger that they weren’t held through or were told was just their imagination. These experiences can create a feeling of being different and like there is something wrong with you. I personally grappled with just wanting to be “normal” and to have a regular life, being called to service and to walk between worlds can be a difficult, lonely path. Allowing ourselves to grieve this, and step into our calling, is where you start to open up to the beauty and joy having this beautiful connection actually brings.
- The grief of our own loss and trauma
As much as a lot of the work we do makes us walkers and shape shifters between worlds, the seen and the unseen, we are also very much human. Our healing is of the utmost importance as the health and well being of the community has always been linked to the wellness of the healers, the medicine people, the oracles, the elders. We can become martyrs on this path, and focus on helping and saving others before we have allowed ourselves to fully meet our own pain, loss and trauma. You don’t need to be fully healed, and we most definitely need to let go of trying to have it all together, of trying to come across as if it is all perfect, but your healing is just as important as the people you hold.
- The grief of many deaths and rebirths
The path of the healer means you will live many different lives in this lifetime. We go through many cycles of death within us, of being in the void for extended periods of time, of walking the veil between one world and the other. These deaths always lead to an inner alchemy which brings new life and rebirth. The grief we acknowledge and feel here creates the fertile ground, the compost, the seeds in which we bring forward Truth, Wisdom and Love. This is the space we walk besides our soul clients with, this is where we create new worlds, new connection, new ripples. Let’s hold each other tight as the world around us crumbles and dies, so we can rebirth into the greatest Legacy of Love.
What do you feel
I would love to hear if you have experienced any of these layers yourself and what they have brought you? Also, this is in no way the only grief that you may have experience, so would be great to hear any other layers of grief you have experienced.
May Truth, Love and Wisdom light the way xxx
