Hi Ladies, I’m Beth
I am a certified transformation and life coach who is passionate about helping woman manage stress by empowering them to let go of limiting beliefs and negative emotions.
Why is everyone telling me to change my perspective?
From the words of Gandhi “You must be the change you wish to see in the world” to Einstein “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used to create them”, inspirational people have been talking for a long time about changing ourselves and our inner world in order to change our reality.
Many of us read these quotes and think “Ah yes, I need to make time at some point to try do that inner work” and then carry on with our daily lives living out the same reality that has been causing us stress and sending us towards burn out.
But why? Understanding your mind
The question I would like to try answer is, why are we doing this to ourselves? Why do we carry on accepting the discomfort and staying stuck where we are even if it is making us feel really unhappy, stressed and anxious? Then to also answer for you, why everyone is telling you to change your perspective.
In my first blog post explaining what Transformation Coaching is, I gave a brief explanation on how our minds process information which I would like to add again as this will give context to the rest of the answer to this question, so here it is again in a nutshell:
- Our internal representation of the world i.e., what you are seeing on your internal mental screen, is determined by information received from the external world through our five senses;
- Our subconscious mind will receive approx. 400 billion bits per second of information from the world around us which is just too much for our conscious minds to process, so this information is then filtered, and we only receive 2000 bits of this consciously thereafter;
- There are various filters which include our culture, values, beliefs, memories, language, and these filters will be different for each individual person. You may have heard the saying “Your perception is your reality”, well we all have a unique perception of what is happening around us since we all have different backgrounds and conditioning that form our filters;
- Everything that we are experiencing we will thereafter create meaning to which will then affect our emotional state (how we are feeling);
- Which then determines our actions and behaviors.
Your subconscious mind controls 95% of your behavior, decisions and choices you make and the other 5% is controlled by your conscious mind which is our thinking and rational brain (this is also where your willpower resides).
So, there is hope
You are therefore only experiencing 5% of what is happening around you consciously through what has been processed by the subconscious mind by your unique filters. No two people will experience the world the same way as we are all seeing the world through our own filter.
So, there is hope! If you are not happy with the 5% that you are currently experiencing consciously then you can change that by changing the filters which your subconscious mind is processing everything through.
However, if you have beliefs running through your mind saying that you aren’t good enough or don’t deserve happiness (which by the way, most of us do), then you will constantly find reasons not to do the work that is needed to change the reality you are currently experiencing.
Knowing this, you do have a choice and the power to change what you are experiencing, you just need to recognise you are holding yourself back and getting too comfortable in your discomfort.
Some tips on changing your perspective
With the above in mind, here are some areas you can work on in order to start changing your perspective:
- Let go of negative suppressed / repressed emotions – so much of our stress and sickness is caused by suppressed and repressed emotions that have built up over the course of our life. In order to find situations around us less stressful we need to let go of these emotions. The longer you hold onto it, the more difficult it becomes to manage stressful situations which leads to burnout;
- Try stop judging – As far as our subconscious is concerned, there is no one else in the world but you so anything you are thinking about someone else it will consider as a negative thought you are having towards yourself, so you are only harming yourself by doing this. Try to remember that we are all seeing the world differently depending on how we have been conditioned;
- Focus on the outcome only – we spend so much time focusing and stressing about what we don’t want in life and by doing that we are bringing more of that into our lives. Start focusing only on what you DO want for yourself (without any attachments and expectations on how it is all going to happen, which will again cause stress and disappointment);
- Look at the bigger picture – We are conditioned to settle for what we can see which means we are often not seeing the bigger picture, especially when you consider that we are only experiencing 5% of what is happening around us consciously. Stop being too eager to accept everything the way it is and question why you are experiencing what is happening around you the way you are;
- Choose to be happy now – Our subconscious mind is also programmed to continuously be seeking more and more which does push us forward to strive for our best but can also leave us not ever being content with what we have right now. Make a conscious choice to be happy now;
- Change your beliefs – as mentioned above, if you have limiting beliefs like I am not good enough or feeling you aren’t worthy then you need to empower yourself by getting rid of these. In the Transformation Coaching Programme I offer, we work on these beliefs so please feel free to get in touch;
- Own your inner power – start to see that trying to control everything going on around you is just a distraction. The only control you have is over yourself and to make real change is to take control of your inner world and own your power.
I hope you found this helpful, empower yourself, if you aren’t happy make the choice now to do something about it. I would also love to hear if anyone has any other tips or advice on how to change your perspective